Desire for Revenge

The Healing Process — Desire for Revenge

There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed. There is nothing kept secret that will not come to light.
Luke 8:17

There is a belief that women cannot move beyond a past hurt until the abuser knows just how badly they hurt them.  This belief keeps women trapped in a cycle of nursing wounds that never heal thinking that if the person who inflicted them would just acknowledge how bad they are she would feel better and be able to move on with her life.  Since the abuser will never truly understand how much pain she is in, this frustrates the woman more which leads to more pain, a deeper wound and eventually produces a desire for revenge in her.

Catholic Sexual Abuse, sex abuse, sexual abuse, Catholic healing, spiritual healing

Jesus Knows the Pain

She wants comfort from others and desperately looks for someone to not only fix her wounds, but to rescue her from herself.

There are two truths that will deliver her from this lie that she cannot heal until the abuser knows how bad they hurt her.  The first is that nothing is hidden with God.  All will be revealed and all will know her struggles and acknowledge her pain in the next life.  She will be rewarded by God Himself.  The second is that she is looking for something that will never happen.  No human can fully understand what another person is going through no matter how hard they try to explain it.  Giving into the desire for revenge, for wanting the abuser to hurt like you do, only increases your own pain.  Trusting that God will reward all according to what they deserve will allow you to begin to live in peace, free from lies that keep you trapped in a wounded existence.

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord’.”
Romans 12:19


  1. I was forced to “mark the debts paid” because those who had incurred them couldn’t repay me. No human could undo what had been done to me. Forgiving was my only viable option.

    1. I like how you word that “mark the debts paid”. I struggled with what forgiving meant in terms of abuse for so many years until my Priest was able to explain it to me in the context of “releasing them of the debt they owe you”. I like your term better :-)
      God bless you.

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